Return To Me: A Song About Our Walk With God

I’ve completed the basic arrangement of a new song: Return To Me. The song takes the perspective of God singing to us, his children, throughout our journey with him. The song ends with us singing a chorus of “Hallelujah’s” to him, our God. You’ll have to use your imagination for now, as the melody is voiced with cello until I can complete a vocal version, which will hopefully include SATB parts for the chorus, too.

The song describes our need for God, our journey with God, and the love to which God has called us for all eternity. The lyrics and corresponding scriptural references are posted below the video.

My parents, Richard and Marjorie Richardson, inspired much of the work on the song, as did the precious example set by Laney and her family over the past few months. Davin Granroth and Rodney Page took the time to provide encouraging feedback on the work.

Return To Me (Instrumental)

Return To Me (Lyrics)

“Return to me for I still love you.”
Joel 2:13
Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster.

“Return to me for I’ve redeemed you.”
Isaiah 44:22
I have blotted out your transgressions like a cloud and your sins like mist; return to me, for I have redeemed you.

“I so loved you, I laid my life down.”
1 John 3:16
By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.

“Come back home my wayward child.”
Jeremiah 3:14 & 3:22 (NLT AND NET bible) on wayward children.

“Walk with me and you will find rest.”
Jeremiah 6:16
Thus says the Lord: “Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls.

“Walk with me and you will know hope.”
Ephesians 1:15 – 21
15 For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love[f] toward all the saints, 16 I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, 17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, 18 having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might 20 that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come.

“I so loved you, I laid my life down.”
1 John 3:16
By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.

“Come on home my little child.”
Matthew 19:14
…but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”

“I take great delight in you. Let me quiet you within my love.”
Zephaniah 3:17
The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness [other translations read “take delight in you”]; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

“Come home with me. Your place is prepared.”
John 14:2-3
In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.

“Come home with me and worship The King”
Revelation 19

“I so loved you, I laid my life down.”
1 John 3:16
By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.

“Welcome home my precious child.”
Matthew 19:14
…but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”

“Nothing in all creation can separate you from my love.”
Romans 8:38-39
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

“Hallelu! Hallelujah!”
Revelation 19

My Dream of Mom

A Long Year

Mom and dad and Matthew and me in front of Grandpa and Grandma's home.

I normally reserve this blog for technology-related posts, but I felt it was fitting to preserve these particular personal memories.

My mom passed away last October. In January my maternal grandmother passed away. And, since January, my father has been living at our house on hospice for end-stage prostate cancer. Long year.

My father’s presence has been a blessing in many ways. My family lived the farthest from my parents’ house, and phone calls a few times a week only went so far to bridge the gap. I’d often longed for the opportunity for my parents to be more integrated into my children’s lives, and having my father here to interact with, enjoy, and love my daughters is something for which I’ll always be thankful. Sarah (my little 2 year old) has gotten the biggest kick out of walking to grandpa’s room and showing him the activity that currently holds her attention (broadcasting her voice at progressively higher volumes if necessary to gain his attention.)

That said, I must confess there are things that I haven’t considered blessings. I haven’t been a fan of catheter care, bathroom breaks, and a host of other things related personal grooming tasks that don’t involve me grooming myself (although I’ve gained great respect for the work of nurses and CNA’s in the process.) I haven’t enjoyed becoming “THE POLICEMAN” who tries to regulate the unfathomable combinations of food my father wanted to “enjoy” (he knew he’d pay for a hot dog dressed with onions and peanut butter, but his perseverance  eventually caused me to cave.) And, most of all, I haven’t enjoyed seeing his capabilities and appearance diminish.

I know what you’re wondering: What’s all of this have to do with a dream about my mom? We’ll get there, just keep reading so I can provide a bit more backstory.

When Can We Leave?

There were things I didn’t enjoy that were especially associated with my mom. At church my mom was involved with many different tasks and responsibilities. She taught Sunday School, junior church, sang in the choir, hosted and scheduled coffee hours, directed Christmas pageants… well, I could go on, but you get the idea.

Now, her being involved in all of these tasks, that didn’t bother me a bit. What bothered me was having to wait for what seemed like an eternity to leave church every Sunday (and every other time we were there.) There was always something to work on, and this always meant that we (the “I” component here is what proved most painful) had to help out on many tasks if we wanted to attempt to get out of church before the service started for next week. These tasks often involved craft preparation of some sort, and let’s just say that to this day you’re not going to ever find my at Michaels.  DIDN’T MY MOM REALIZE I WAS MISSING THE ONLY NBA BASKETBALL I COULD WATCH ON TV!!! Things were so dire in terms of our departure time from church, that I was given the responsibility of locking up the church, something successively passed down to the oldest Richardson not away at college (except for then-rebel Kathleen.)

The Dream

About three weeks ago, there was a day where I felt especially drained because of all of the tasks required to care for my father. I wasn’t proud of it, but I must confess I resented doing the work. I was short with my dad that evening, and I went to bed that night carrying a heart full of frustration. A couple nights later, I had a dream about mom, one I’ve not described to anyone until now.

I remember being in one of the classrooms of my old church. I remember the fluorescent lighting, the basement smell, the rough texture on the walls, and I even noticed the old carpet pattern. It was a Sunday, and my family was the only one left at church. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see someone turned away from me quietly standing at a table and working. It was mom! I felt a rush of excitement overcome me and I ran as fast as I could to her side. She turned to see me with her smile of contentment, and I truly can’t describe the feelings I had at this moment. It really felt like I was in my mom’s presence again, and I couldn’t wait to hear her first words to me. I, with the utmost of eagerness, exclaimed, “Mom, how can I help!” I truly longed to work beside her, whatever the task might be.

Before she could utter one word in response, I felt the dream start to unwind. I pleaded with God in my heart for the dream to continue. In that moment I can honestly say that it had seemed so real and I had been so hopeful for even the smallest interaction, that it felt like I was losing her all over again. I woke balling uncontrollably, and I’m crying now as I remember this emotively overwhelming memory.

God granted me a wonderful truth through this experience that has greatly impacted me these past few weeks:

There will come a time for each of us when once-detested tasks would be counted as treasures if we could spend one more moment with the one we love. Cherish every moment.

My moments with my wonderful father are fleeting fast.